Campaign Notebook
By Jim
Smith
No I haven’t been on the campaign
bus with any of the candidates, but I can say with some assurance that nearly
all of them would do a better job as President than George Bush. And
that’s true even for Mad Max Riekse, who’s running on the American
Independent Party. Did you vote for him?
•••
The
Return of the King. The Keeper of the Flame, Count Teddy, has anointed the Black
Prince with the mantle of Camelot and sent him on a Quest to Redeem the Throne
from the Clintonian Usurpers. Will the rightness of his mission be revealed to
the commoners of the realm, or will the Queen of Hearts have her way? Black
Prince, be wary of old King Billy who would see his family rule for generations
more. He will brook no interference just as he is about to snatch power back
from Darth Vader and the
Decider.
•••
By
now you probably know the names of the Democrat and Republican who won their
California primary. It was likely the candidate with the most money. You
probably don’t know the names of the other parties’ candidates who
won their primaries. Doesn’t matter, all of the primaries are non-binding.
They only elect delegates, who can change their minds at any time. Voting
doesn’t mean that anyone pays
attention.
•••
Many
people don’t know it, but there are six parties that are qualified to run
candidates in California. This is a secret that the mass media doesn’t
know. Most Californians don’t know it either. Can you name all six
parties? You’re bound to get two right, the Democratic and Republican
parties. The others are the American Independent, Green, Libertarian and Peace
and Freedom
parties.
•••
One
reason more people don’t vote is there is no party identification with a
car. That’s right, millions of us spend hours a day in our cars but we
don’t know which ones symbolize the political parties. Here are my
nominations:
Republican Party - Stretch
Limo - Color: Black
Democratic Party -
Stretch Limo - Color: White
American
Independent Party - Hummer - Color:
Yellow
(The AIP was founded by George
Wallace, the archsegregationist, in 1968. How embarrassed you must be if you
registered with them thinking it was “no
party.”
Green Party - Hybrid Prius
- Color: Green
Libertarian Party -
Mercedes sedan with secret cargo compartment - Color:
Tan
(Libertarians are sometimes called
Republicans who smoke pot.)
Peace and
Freedom Party - 1967 VW Microbus - Color:
Rainbow
•••
In
addition to no one paying attention to voting, many states now use voting
machines which means that even the machine may not pay attention to how you
vote. Was the New Hampshire Democratic primary rigged? That’s the one
where more than 10 pre-election, and exit polls all called it for Barack Obama,
but Hellary Clinton came out the winner. Have the Democrats learned from the
Republicans?
The day after the
primary, Obama said, “I come from Chicago politics. We’re accustomed
to rough and tumble.” And just what are Chicago politics known for? Could
it be rigging elections, having dead people cast ballots, etc. Surely, the
Clintons would never do anything underhanded just to win an
election.
Primary Colors was
Newsweek’s Joe Klein’s fictional account of Bill and Hill’s
1992 campaign. This book should be assigned reading for all voters, if in fact,
the coronation proceeds on schedule (you know: Bush, 88-92; Clinton, 93-00;
Bush, 01-08; Clinton, 09-16). The movie by the same name is much toned down, due
to efforts by the Clinton White House, according to
insiders.
•••
Last
one out at the Clinton HQ turn off the lights. So now the New York Times and the
L.A. Times have endorsed Obama. These two papers aren’t the whole ruling
class, but they do reflect what the billionaires, the old money tycoons, are
talking about at their clubs. My guess is that a lot of the high rollers are
running scared. Bush and Cheney scared the shit out of them on Iraq, and more so
on Iran. Then Hellary castigated Obama for ruling out nuking Iran! They probably
peed in their pants. And now they’re facing a recession, or depression,
that is going to cause riots all over America. Time for a Black
President.
Posted: Fri - February 1, 2008 at 03:03 PM
