Beachhead Sells Out
Beachhead sold to Rupert Murdoch – Name to
be changed to WWB
After 35 years as
an independent voice of the community, the Free Venice Beachhead has been sold
to media magnet, Rupert Murdoch, owner of Fox News, the New York Post and other
fine publications around the world.
The world-class billionaire has big plans
for the Beachhead. Mr. Murdoch’s assistant told the staff that the new
owner will make it the most sought after paper on beaches around the world.
Therefore it’s only fitting that the name be changed to World Wide
Beachhead (WWB).
The current Beachhead
Collective feels that the change of ownership is necessary to catch up with the
times. “Let’s face it, we’re a bunch of aging hippies living
in rent-controlled apartments,” said Carol Fondiller. “Mr.
Murdoch’s track record proves that he knows what the public wants better
than we do,” she
added.
“Our personal feelings
about the right of poor people to live near the beach was getting in the way of
our objectivity,” said Beachhead writer Jim Smith. “It’s
really no fun being so negative all the time in the face of so much
wealth,” he continued.
The
Collective will be able to continue to live at the beach, thanks to a generous
cash and stock buyout by Mr. Murdoch (except for Alice Stek, who lost a bidding
war to Mr. Murdoch). “We’ll be able to start a lot of new ventures -
dare I say developments,” observed Arnold
Clover.
In fact, collective member
Lydia Poncé is already in negotiations to buy the corner of Abbot Kinney
and San Juan, where Pano Douvos is hoping to open a gourmet poetry bookstore.
Other members, Suzy Williams and Vessy Mink, reportedly have inked lucrative
record deals with Clover Enterprises.
The biggest new art gallery in Venice
is being planned by Screaming Mimi, assuming certain variances are granted by
the planning board. And, Fast Eddie has retained Attorney Johnny Cochran for a
federal court suit to regain his last name, which he is legally barred from
using for undisclosed reasons. Peggy Lee Kennedy and Calvin Moss have purchased
Boardwalk property where they plan to revive the Marathon Meatless Mess Hall,
where all food items will be
free.
Meanwhile, big changes are
already underway at the WWB. As a value-added bonus to readers, new writers are
being recruited in India, where many people know some English, and they are
ready and willing to work as volunteers.
To show Mr. Murdoch’s support
for the new WWB, all 137 California subscribers to the New York Post will
instead begin receiving the new World Wide Beachhead as of its premier issue on
April 1.
Posted: Tue - April 1, 2003 at 06:59 PM